It has been quite a while since I blogged last. Sorry! Between general busyness and some computer issues,I haven't been in the loop as much! But, I couldn't think of a better way to start my blogging again then with a post about my father's return from his tour in Iraq!
He returned yesterday. Friends and family came with us to the airport and amidst cheers and clapping, my family was reunited for the final time! I laughed and cried and laughed and cried again! I still have to remind myself that we are done!
As I thought about this last year and put up facebook status' about my father's return, I was overwhelmed with gratitude. Gratitude to our loved ones for prayers and support that I will never be able to thank them enough for and gratitude to God that He brought us through. There were times when I didn't really think that we would get through this, when I doubted if my dad would return safe from this tour. If he hadn't, I know that God would have had reasons, but I am so thankful that He returned my father to us! It is a great gift that I did not deserve, but that God gave anyway!
So, we have begun to be a family again and tonight, I was again reminded of God's latest mercy. My sister was playing the Beatles' 'Here Comes the Sun' on the guitar while we both sang and I turned to see my mom dancing with my brother in the kitchen. She was all smiles as they twirled and I just watched...she hasn't danced like that since my father left in January of 2009. It was just another reminder of what God has done for us!
So often, time gets jumbled together but with my dad having been gone, I can look back really clearly on this past year and remember where I was when he left and where I am now. I had feared and hurt deeper than I ever have before but I have found strength greater than my own! I had gained greater confidence in the salvation that I was given and I am learning to fall more in love with the God who loves me enough to use even bad things for my good! God, not the Navy, sent my dad out into the Iraqi desert and God brought him back! He was with me as I clenched in fear for my father's safety and He and He alone helped me release that fear and trust Him. I am by NO means perfect and I still have a long way to go but today is a good day. My mother is dancing again, my father's laughter is back in the house, and God was faithful, as He said He would be!
Friday, January 29, 2010
Friday, January 1, 2010
Security in the Door
John 10.
This was my passage for devotions today, and my pastor also happened to have just preached on this same chapter. In these verses, Christ compares Himself to the Good Shepherd, whose voice is known to His sheep, and as the Door, the only way into His sheepfold.
In Jesus' time, shepherds would sometimes keep their sheep in pens that could be as primitive as rocks piled into a low wall with the shepherd himself lying at the entrance as the door, to ensure that no curious lamb wandered out or that any predators gained entrance. This is what Jesus compares Himself to.
As I thought about that concept, I realize how reassuring that statement should be to us, His flock. We are the sheep in His flock, He lies us down in His pasture, and He Himself guards the door. Why are we so worried about life? What are we afraid? I thought about it. The Creator of the universe Himself is guarding our lives; what in the world can possibly do us harm?
Now, by no means, do I mean that as Christians, we should never have pain or trouble. I know that isn't true, BUT...there is no sorrow that comes to us, which God has not seen every detail of. He knows exactly what griefs and joys come our way and every one, He uses for good. Every ONE! We can walk through life without worry or fear because the Good Shepherd is watching us. What better guide could we ask?
"I am the door. If anyone enters by me, he will be saved and will go in and out and find pasture. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly." Jn 10:9-10
This was my passage for devotions today, and my pastor also happened to have just preached on this same chapter. In these verses, Christ compares Himself to the Good Shepherd, whose voice is known to His sheep, and as the Door, the only way into His sheepfold.
In Jesus' time, shepherds would sometimes keep their sheep in pens that could be as primitive as rocks piled into a low wall with the shepherd himself lying at the entrance as the door, to ensure that no curious lamb wandered out or that any predators gained entrance. This is what Jesus compares Himself to.
As I thought about that concept, I realize how reassuring that statement should be to us, His flock. We are the sheep in His flock, He lies us down in His pasture, and He Himself guards the door. Why are we so worried about life? What are we afraid? I thought about it. The Creator of the universe Himself is guarding our lives; what in the world can possibly do us harm?
Now, by no means, do I mean that as Christians, we should never have pain or trouble. I know that isn't true, BUT...there is no sorrow that comes to us, which God has not seen every detail of. He knows exactly what griefs and joys come our way and every one, He uses for good. Every ONE! We can walk through life without worry or fear because the Good Shepherd is watching us. What better guide could we ask?
"I am the door. If anyone enters by me, he will be saved and will go in and out and find pasture. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly." Jn 10:9-10
Friday, December 25, 2009
And You Shall Call His Name Jesus
Christmas morning. We got up early and gathered around the tree...and the computer as we skyped with my dad. The troops where he is got the day off and so, he was able to call in and watch us open gifts. It was hard...being able to see him but knowing he wasn't really there but I was glad he was able to.
However, before we do gifts, we always read the Christmas story and Daddy always reads it. Thanks to technology, this year wasn't any different and we all sat in our living room as, half a world away, our deployed sailor read the words of the Christ's birth in the sandy deserts of Iraq. As he began to read, I was struck by the situation. We are Christians here the United States; he is over there in a Muslim country but today, Iraq proclaimed the birth of the world's Messiah.
As we finish out the last month of this long deployment, I thank God that He has kept my dad safe thus far and I pray that He will continue to do so. But...I know that, no matter what is to come, through all the years of my life no matter how many or few, He's going to be there with me and whatever it is, it will be better than anything else...even if I don't understand how. Because our God's ways are not our ways and His foolishness is wiser than man's wisdom.
Merry Christmas!
However, before we do gifts, we always read the Christmas story and Daddy always reads it. Thanks to technology, this year wasn't any different and we all sat in our living room as, half a world away, our deployed sailor read the words of the Christ's birth in the sandy deserts of Iraq. As he began to read, I was struck by the situation. We are Christians here the United States; he is over there in a Muslim country but today, Iraq proclaimed the birth of the world's Messiah.
As we finish out the last month of this long deployment, I thank God that He has kept my dad safe thus far and I pray that He will continue to do so. But...I know that, no matter what is to come, through all the years of my life no matter how many or few, He's going to be there with me and whatever it is, it will be better than anything else...even if I don't understand how. Because our God's ways are not our ways and His foolishness is wiser than man's wisdom.
Merry Christmas!
Saturday, December 19, 2009
We went and got our Christmas tree today. Going to Kluck's, picking out the perfect tree, and taking it home and setting it up to Christmas music has been one of the deepest traditions of my family. It was wonderful and really feels like Christmas now...but not quite like it has before.
For those who don't know, my father has been serving our country in Iraq for the past year and will be returning home in late January. We are all happy to be back together so soon but the holidays aren't even close to the same without him. And, of course, on our way home, the song "I'll be Brave for Christmas" by Big Daddy Weave came on the radio and we all tried not to cry.
Sitting here, I realize a little more of what Christmas really means. It is so easy to get wrapped up in the gifts and the lights and the beautiful decorations but bright garlands and ornamented evergreens are not what this holiday is about. It is about something much bigger and MUCH better.
It is about a baby. Just one baby and yet, there was never another like Him. God the Son in flesh; born not to wealthy parents in a beautiful palace but to a peasant girl and his first crib, a manger where animals would eat. That was the entrance of the Son of God.
I miss my dad. Sometimes, I just have to grit my teeth at how deeply I miss him but I am not sorry that the Lord gave us this trial. It increased my love for my earthly father and now, it has showed me a little more of the love of my Heavenly One. That same pain that I am feeling now, God felt a hundred times over when His Son left heaven and came down as a Man and then, even more than that, when the Father had to actually turn away from His Son as Jesus bore the world's sins on His shoulders. That take your breath away, clench your jaw pain that I feel...He didn't just endure that, He purposefully endured it...for me.
He missed His Father, just like I do, and He loves me even more than that pain. I could not ask for a greater gift and I will never be able to thank Him enough!
For those who don't know, my father has been serving our country in Iraq for the past year and will be returning home in late January. We are all happy to be back together so soon but the holidays aren't even close to the same without him. And, of course, on our way home, the song "I'll be Brave for Christmas" by Big Daddy Weave came on the radio and we all tried not to cry.
Sitting here, I realize a little more of what Christmas really means. It is so easy to get wrapped up in the gifts and the lights and the beautiful decorations but bright garlands and ornamented evergreens are not what this holiday is about. It is about something much bigger and MUCH better.
It is about a baby. Just one baby and yet, there was never another like Him. God the Son in flesh; born not to wealthy parents in a beautiful palace but to a peasant girl and his first crib, a manger where animals would eat. That was the entrance of the Son of God.
I miss my dad. Sometimes, I just have to grit my teeth at how deeply I miss him but I am not sorry that the Lord gave us this trial. It increased my love for my earthly father and now, it has showed me a little more of the love of my Heavenly One. That same pain that I am feeling now, God felt a hundred times over when His Son left heaven and came down as a Man and then, even more than that, when the Father had to actually turn away from His Son as Jesus bore the world's sins on His shoulders. That take your breath away, clench your jaw pain that I feel...He didn't just endure that, He purposefully endured it...for me.
He missed His Father, just like I do, and He loves me even more than that pain. I could not ask for a greater gift and I will never be able to thank Him enough!
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Comfort in Insignificance
"Be comforted, small one, in your smallness. He lays no merit on you...Be comforted, small immortals. You are not the voice that all things utter, nor is there eternal silence in the places where you cannot come." C.S. Lewis from Perelandra
I finished this book today and towards the end, I found those two passages. At first, I confess, pride reared its ugly head. I get to rejoice that I'm insignificant? But then, I thought on it more. Yes, I do!
At the core of our sin nature, there is our pride and arogance that desires to be like God. It is the temptation that Eve was given in the garden and just like our first parents, we are ever listening to its lie yet again. Selfishness, anger, even worry, they are all tenacles of the same massive pride. We want to be our own God.
But do we really? Do we really understand what being God is? Yes, He gets all the glory and worship but He has endured pain that we cannot even fathom! And, besides that point, how comfortable would you be if your loved one's lives were in your hands? If you alone were responsible to ensure that your father made it home safe from work every day, your mother stayed strong as she served her family, or your children lived through the raging fever of the flu? Wouldn't you kinda, you know, go insane with the pressure?
That is why I think C.S. Lewis' character told the human to rejoice in his smallness. God does not require us to do His job. The world will not crumble because we goofed; our salvation will not be in jeapordy because we didn't see something coming. He does not lay any merit on us...He knows we are sinners and He sees us as we are, expecting neither more nor less. He understands us, for He became like us.
Rejoice! God is mighty enough to be God by Himself! He doesn't not need us!
I finished this book today and towards the end, I found those two passages. At first, I confess, pride reared its ugly head. I get to rejoice that I'm insignificant? But then, I thought on it more. Yes, I do!
At the core of our sin nature, there is our pride and arogance that desires to be like God. It is the temptation that Eve was given in the garden and just like our first parents, we are ever listening to its lie yet again. Selfishness, anger, even worry, they are all tenacles of the same massive pride. We want to be our own God.
But do we really? Do we really understand what being God is? Yes, He gets all the glory and worship but He has endured pain that we cannot even fathom! And, besides that point, how comfortable would you be if your loved one's lives were in your hands? If you alone were responsible to ensure that your father made it home safe from work every day, your mother stayed strong as she served her family, or your children lived through the raging fever of the flu? Wouldn't you kinda, you know, go insane with the pressure?
That is why I think C.S. Lewis' character told the human to rejoice in his smallness. God does not require us to do His job. The world will not crumble because we goofed; our salvation will not be in jeapordy because we didn't see something coming. He does not lay any merit on us...He knows we are sinners and He sees us as we are, expecting neither more nor less. He understands us, for He became like us.
Rejoice! God is mighty enough to be God by Himself! He doesn't not need us!
Monday, December 14, 2009
Never Was Grief Like His
I know this is a long post but trust me, it is worth it. This is a portion of my Sunday School lesson on 'How did Jesus win our salvation?' Read the passage please. It left me speechless...
Excerpts from 'The Sacrifice' by George Herbert
"With clubs and staves they seek me, as a thief,
Who am the Way and Truth, the true relief;
Most true to those, who are my greatest grief:
Was ever grief like mine?
See, they lay hold on me, not with the hands
Of faith, but furie: yet at their commands
I suffer binding, who have loosed their bands:
Was ever grief like mine?
Arise, arise, they come. Look how they run!
Alas! what haste they make to be undone!
How with their lanterns do they seek the sun!
Was ever grief like mine?
Therefore my soul melts, and my heart's dear treasure
Drops blood (the only beads) my word to measure:
Was ever grief like mine?
These drops being tempered with a sinner's tears
A balsome are for both the hemispheres:
Curing all wounds, but mine; all, but my fears:
Was ever grief like mine?
So sits the earth's great curse in Adam's fall
Upon my head; so I remove it all
From th' earth unto my brows, and bear the thrall:
Was ever grief like mine?
The soldiers also spit upon that face,
Which angels did desire to have the grace,
And prophets, once to see, but found no place:
Was ever grief like mine?
'O ye all who pass by, behold and see';
Man stole the fruit, but I must climb the tree;
The tree of life to all, but only me:
Was ever grief like mine?
Such sorrow as, if sinful man could feel,
Or feel his part, he would not cease to kneel,
Till all were melted, though he were all steel:
Was ever grief like mine?
'Now heal thy self, Physician; now come down.'
Alas! I did so, when I left my crown
And father's smile for you, to feel his frown:
Was ever grief like mine?
In healing not my self, there doth consist
All that salvation, which ye now resist;
Your safety in my sickness doth subsist:
Was ever grief like mine?
But now I die; now all is finished.
My woe, men's weal: and now I bow my head.
Only let others say, when I am dead,
Never was grief like mine."
He suffered more than we can even imagine, to gain the love we so rarely give Him. How truly great is our God!
Excerpts from 'The Sacrifice' by George Herbert
"With clubs and staves they seek me, as a thief,
Who am the Way and Truth, the true relief;
Most true to those, who are my greatest grief:
Was ever grief like mine?
See, they lay hold on me, not with the hands
Of faith, but furie: yet at their commands
I suffer binding, who have loosed their bands:
Was ever grief like mine?
Arise, arise, they come. Look how they run!
Alas! what haste they make to be undone!
How with their lanterns do they seek the sun!
Was ever grief like mine?
Therefore my soul melts, and my heart's dear treasure
Drops blood (the only beads) my word to measure:
Was ever grief like mine?
These drops being tempered with a sinner's tears
A balsome are for both the hemispheres:
Curing all wounds, but mine; all, but my fears:
Was ever grief like mine?
So sits the earth's great curse in Adam's fall
Upon my head; so I remove it all
From th' earth unto my brows, and bear the thrall:
Was ever grief like mine?
The soldiers also spit upon that face,
Which angels did desire to have the grace,
And prophets, once to see, but found no place:
Was ever grief like mine?
'O ye all who pass by, behold and see';
Man stole the fruit, but I must climb the tree;
The tree of life to all, but only me:
Was ever grief like mine?
Such sorrow as, if sinful man could feel,
Or feel his part, he would not cease to kneel,
Till all were melted, though he were all steel:
Was ever grief like mine?
'Now heal thy self, Physician; now come down.'
Alas! I did so, when I left my crown
And father's smile for you, to feel his frown:
Was ever grief like mine?
In healing not my self, there doth consist
All that salvation, which ye now resist;
Your safety in my sickness doth subsist:
Was ever grief like mine?
But now I die; now all is finished.
My woe, men's weal: and now I bow my head.
Only let others say, when I am dead,
Never was grief like mine."
He suffered more than we can even imagine, to gain the love we so rarely give Him. How truly great is our God!
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Live like We're Dying
"We only got 86,400 seconds in a day
to turn it all around or to throw it all away
We gotta tell 'em that we love 'em while we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we're dying!"
This is part of the chorus to a popular song right now by Kris Allen. It isn't a 'Christian' song but it applies anyway. God is not confined to speaking truth only through the music of those who claim His name. We can find truth even in the words of the firmest athiest.
So...what are we going to do with our lives? Who are we going to live for? What, at the end, will give us joy? Imagine if more people starting living like this, living as if the day they had were the last they would ever see. What would change?
As Christians, every night we should go to sleep ready to meet our Maker and knowing that we didn't waste a second of the day we are now finishing. We only have one life,all we are guaranteed is the moment we are now in. What are we going to do with it?
Christ came to earth to die for us, He wrapped Himself in flesh to take the punishment for our sin, He bore the shame and agony of the cross to redeem His sinful creations. As He went through each day, He knew that He was one day closer to His own death but also, to the glory of His resurrection. Will we follow our Lord's example or will we live for ourselves? Will we enjoy good now or we will wait, realizing that there is greater good to be gained at the feet of our Savior?
You only have 86,400 seconds in this day. Will you be proud or ashamed of them once they are gone?
to turn it all around or to throw it all away
We gotta tell 'em that we love 'em while we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we're dying!"
This is part of the chorus to a popular song right now by Kris Allen. It isn't a 'Christian' song but it applies anyway. God is not confined to speaking truth only through the music of those who claim His name. We can find truth even in the words of the firmest athiest.
So...what are we going to do with our lives? Who are we going to live for? What, at the end, will give us joy? Imagine if more people starting living like this, living as if the day they had were the last they would ever see. What would change?
As Christians, every night we should go to sleep ready to meet our Maker and knowing that we didn't waste a second of the day we are now finishing. We only have one life,all we are guaranteed is the moment we are now in. What are we going to do with it?
Christ came to earth to die for us, He wrapped Himself in flesh to take the punishment for our sin, He bore the shame and agony of the cross to redeem His sinful creations. As He went through each day, He knew that He was one day closer to His own death but also, to the glory of His resurrection. Will we follow our Lord's example or will we live for ourselves? Will we enjoy good now or we will wait, realizing that there is greater good to be gained at the feet of our Savior?
You only have 86,400 seconds in this day. Will you be proud or ashamed of them once they are gone?
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