Wow! For an aspiring writer, I am not good at being consistent with this blog thing. *sigh*
Well, my family is settling well into a new normal with Dad back home. I am still so grateful that God brought him home. The Lord was so good to us during that year. I can never tell Him 'thank you' enough!
I tend to be so forgetful, especially with God. I pray for something, and then...I never thank Him for answering. He is utterly patient with me!
These months have been an up and down time for me spiritually. I've been struggling with my own apathy, seeing so many areas where I simply do not desire God as I should. But, as always, God has not left me alone. Even when I am back in the same sin over and over again, He does not give up on me. How can we ever dwell enough on the patient and steadfast love of our God?
And He is more than just a Savior. That almost sounds disrespectful, 'just' a Savior, but I don't mean it that way. I mean that He is Savior and Father and Comforter and Protector and Shepherd. He offers us love that no human could ever give; He wants to have a personal relationship with us. He is the One who I can greet every morning and walk through every day with. He is waiting to help me through every trial and smile with me through every gladness. How can we ever deserve such a God?
In my struggles of trying to understanding myself, I imagined what it would be like not to believe in God...I was saved at seven years old and in the back of my mind, ever since that day, I have been having a conversation with Him. Imagine not having that quiet presence in that back of your soul? The constancy of His presence has been another grace that God has shown me over these past weeks, and I am so grateful for the work He is doing in me. I am never alone. I am never parted from the One who loves me more than I can comprehend AND who has the power to actually take care of every single problem I will ever face. Not to say that I think He will make all my troubles go away, but He can dissolve them, or give me strength or wisdom or whatever I need to get through it. No one else will ever be able to offer me that kind of love.
We are loved by a God too big to describe, and yet, so many, many times, we don't pray, don't read His Word, don't listen to Him. What is wrong with us? O Lord, You are beyond comprehension! You pursue us when we don't want to be pursued. You love and forgive us beyond measure, and even the gratitude and obedience we give to You in return is only in our possession because You died to free us from our own sin. How great are You!
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